Fantage & Other MMORPGs: A Queer Awakening

How online virtual reality games allowed me to explore my sexuality

Six months ago, during the height of Pride Month, I wrote about some of my favorite LGBTQIA+ creators where I naively referred to myself as a "cishet ally." Since then I've done a lot of self reflection and ultimately, a lot of healing from childhood trauma leading to me being able to admit, for the very first time in my 23 years of life, that I am not straight. To be honest, the signs were always there.

In kindergarten, I had a young female teacher who I took such a liking to that I gave her the ring I had found on the bathroom sink at my house, with hopes that she would wear it proudly (and was devastated when she instead called my parents to return it). I even pretended to be able to speak another language fluently so that I could impress her and spent several days trying to teach her this made up language. Even as a five year old, I recognized that the feelings I had for her were similar to the feelings I had for the cute, nice boy who sat next to me in class.

It wasn't until second grade that I first heard the word "gay" after sneakily watching the show Degrassi when my older sister wasn't paying attention. And then it was years later that I first heard the word "bisexual", which I think most accurately…